Raising a Baby Today

I was talking to a friend about bringing up babies and the books she has been reading before her bubba is born and it got me thinking. I didn't really read any books before my bubba was born. I didn't really have time. Sometimes I wish I had, while other times it makes me happy because I have no preconceived ideas of how things should be.

Don't get me wrong I read the information that is given to me by the health professionals and google when I run out of ideas or I need some guidance. But mainly I use my instincts when it comes to my son. I started to think about our new age society and if we are better off than our parents and grandparents.

Our parents and mainly our grandparents would usually have family and friends (a small community of people) to help them raise their children. But there were a lot of things not talked about and a lot of things not yet discovered. For example: recently studies have discovered that to help prevent SIDS it is best to have babies sleep on their backs in lieu of their tummy. With this information the percentage of babies dying from SIDS has been shown to fall dramatically. So in the past there wasn't as much information or support, so did families and parents have to rely on instincts and information passed down from generation to generation?

I know times have changed but I started to wonder how much information is out there today. How many books are there? How much of this information is conflicting. And I must tell you there is a lot of information. It must look very daunting to a new mum trying to find answers. After reading a few articles it made me happier that I hadn't read too much and decided to just take things as they come. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people would find these books/information helpful. But my son is not your average bub and I can guarantee he wouldn't be doing things by the book. There is a lot of information out there because times have changed and we aren't the small communities that raise babies together. In fact a lot of people don't have there family and friends around to offer support and help at all. So these books must be a life saver for some people who have nothing else.

This conversation was raise slightly in my mothers group a week ago and I must say the conversation was interesting. Every mother knows their baby is constantly changing, so does that mean that you are constantly looking for additional information? To make things even more interesting one of the ladies in my mothers group spoke about her trip to South Africa and how they don't know, or aren't aware of SID's, don't really use seat belts etc. This point alone makes me feel happy the information is out there and too much information is better than not enough information. Our children are safe, our rules are clear, the guidance is there. If you need it great and if you don't you don't have to read it.

The most important thing I learnt in all of this is that trusting my instincts works best for me and my son. If I need help then I know I can get it, but I'm happy that I am into days society.

A Baby life

As a 1st time mum my eyes have been opened to a lot of things that I would never have considered before. Especially how in a babies life there are a number of things they do and we do with them that is deemed acceptable behaviour, but if you were to do it with an adult would be out right wrong. Let me put this picture in your mind. Your baby has farted. Your not sure if he has farted or pooed. So you pick him up and sniff his bottom. Thats ok right. Well imagine you did this to another adult. Sniffed there bottom. When politicians do it it's classed as outrageous and no one would ever really do this. But it got me thinking about the things we do with babies and the more I thought about the more things I came up with.

For example:

- People kiss babies feet - Of course this is ok because babies don't walk yet right. But imagine doing this to an adult.

- People sing to babies to make them happy, in public and private. Imagine if every time you had a friend upset or you wanted a smile from someone you just belted out a tune.

- Randomly most people will blow raspberries on their childs belly. I can't even describe why this is wrong to do to an adult without laughing. 

- Strangers will often greet a baby they don't know and choose to touch them by either rubbing there arm, face or hair. Imagine if every time you met someone they proceed to stroke you in some way. Uncomfortable.

- Baby talk. I don't even need to explain this one. 

Anyway you get the gist. There are things we do with babies that we would never do with adults. Which got me thinking are there things that babies do that we would never do ourselves as adults. Of course there is.

- Babies will openly stare at whomever they want whenever they want and no one judges them. If an adult did that it would be awkward.

- Babies will openly fart, burt and poo in public and no one bats an eyelid.

- Babies will scream at the top of their lungs for no reason and the most inconvenient time. Imagine being in a meeting and an adult did this.
- Babies will drool so much that they wet their shirt

- Babies laugh at things that they see or hear for the 1st time. I wish adults could experience this joy again

AND

- Babies don't care what other people think as long as there mum and dad love them

I guess my point is that a babies lives are pure and so different from an adults. Furthermore it wasn't until I started thinking about these things that I realised how different a babies life is and how much they change over time to become us. Amazing.

Nappy Free Hour Gone Wrong

You may be thinking the title says it all. Well in a way it does, but to be honest it wasn't what I expected.

Since my son was 6 weeks old we have tried to do something call Nappy Free Hour. Which basically consists of our son being nappy free for an hour before he goes to bed. We choose to do this for a number of reasons, but the main reason was that he has incredibly sensitive skin and this helps to keep nappy rash and eczema at bay. 

Now I know what your thinking, how do you control what comes out of him. Well, we always put him on a waterproof mat and more often than not he would wee (which was easy to clean up), but he never seemed to poo. So we didn't have to deal with that. 

As time has gone on our son has grown to love nappy free hour and at 7months old laughs with joy every night when we take his nappy off. It has always been a joy. Until last night....

My husband going riding every Tuesday night. You could call it his break, in turn it is the one night I am alone with our son and have to go through our night time routine on our own. More often than not it works out fine, and our son ends up in bed sound asleep without any problems. However last night was a circus and I am starting to think nappy free hour may have not been our best idea. But how do you stop it now.

So the night started out great. I fed our son on the mat, stripped him down and he was laughing and playing with his toys and me. Half way through he wanted to be picked up and stand. So I pick him up away from me, just in case he decided to wee. I wanted to be smart. Well wee may have been the smarter option. As I lifted him he farted and proceeded to carry through with poo. Luckely it landed on the mat and not on me (well so I thought at the time). Your probably thinking oh a little bit of poo no big deal right. Well normally I would agree with you. But for some reason, it may have been because I was on my own or I had never dealt with this situation before, I went into panic mode. I lifted my son from the floor and started to carry him to the laundry sink. Well he hadn't finished yet. Trust me I didn't think he could have that much poo in him. So as I am carrying him to the sink he starts again and I feel in run down my leg. I cup my had on his bottom to try and stop the flow. It kinda works, but what a mess. I reach the sink and start to laugh. My son starts to laugh to thankfully. But I realise how gross I am. On the upside my son is pretty clean. I rinse his bum off and my hands and proceed to get an old cloth to wipe my leg. I only have to clean the trail of mess and the mat now, which seemed pretty easy once I had stopped laughing and thought it through.

Now you may be thinking why were you not prepared for this. It's nappy free hour. In the 7 months my sone has been alive he only poos in the morning. Around the same time every morning is when you can expect a pooey nappy. So this poo really came out of the blue.

2 lessons learnt last night. The front end may be better than the rear and be prepared for anything.

Bring on happy free hour tonight.

To work or not to work?

There are a many things people don't tell you about being a mum and a million things they tell you that you will never use. But going back to work is something that everyone has an opinion on and some will push in your face if you ask them or if you don't.

The decision to go back to work is a personal choice for every family. This subject in particular is hard one for me. My family is lucky in the fact that I can stay home if I choose and more to the point my husband is the most supportive man who wants what I want. The problem is I think I am leaning towards staying home but find there is pressure from others that maybe I should go back to work.

Previously when I have thought about staying home with my son, I thought that this was the best option and who wouldn't agree. More to the point I didn't think anyone else would care what we were doing as a family. Boy was I wrong. My son is 6 months old and I can't count on my hands how many times I have been asked if I am going back to work. To start off with I didn't mind so much. But now every time someone asks I feel myself tensing just a tad and in my head tackling the person who has asked me this normal, very reasonable question to the ground. It's not the question that is the issue, it is more where this question leads to and then the long winded opinion of the person I am talking to, that makes me start to feel this way.

When ask the question 'are you going back to work?', often my answer is 'I haven't decided, but I think I want to stay home with this little guy. I don't want to miss out on anything in his life, but I haven't decided yet.' I tried to be a little blazay but also indicating that I probably won't be going back. Who would have thought I would get comments like:
- You'll change your mind if you choose to stay home
- It's unhealthy to stay at home with you child, you will loose yourself.
- Won't you get bored if you stay at home?
- Your child will miss contact with other children

Its hard, because not everyone was so opinionated and I feel I took these opinions to heart. I even used our friend google to research the impacts on being a stay at home mum. Which didn't seem to help or hinder. It wasn't until I was able to talk to other mums in a similar situation to myself when I realised. I SHOULDN'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK.

But I am human so I will always care just that little, if I like it or not.

My message for everyone else - Its great to have an opinion. It can be great to share your opinion. BUT know the impacts of what sharing your opinion with someone else means. Even if this opinion has been asked for. Especially us new mums, we're a little more sensitive.

Realising I'm a MUM!

So I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror realising that my eyebrows where out of control, my hair needed to be dyed and cut, I should probably shave my legs and my under arms. When had I lost control? Why had no one told me? And more to the point how long had I looked this way. It was in this moment that I realised, I was really a Mum. Don't get me wrong, not all mums are out of control, some are very good at taking care of themselves and everyone else for that matter. But for me in this moment I realised I was putting everything a side to focus my attention on my son and  husband.

For the last 6 months of my son's life I have been in a world of complete amazement. Watching my son growing up so very quickly. Surely this couldn't have lead me to where I am today. It makes me wonder does this happen to other mums?

When my son was born I was happy, excited, amazed, scared, and worried. A mix of emotions that I couldn't even describe. I spent the 1st 4 weeks being a super mum running on adrenalin. Then it seems since then the time has just flown by. Not to mention the lack of time you have when you've got a baby.

This realisation that I am a mum would have scared me years ago. It would have made me feel like I lost my life and who I am. Today it makes me feel so proud to be a mum. I love being that person. The person who people look and go 'she's a mum'. Yes I am a mum and proud of it. I may not always no what I am doing and love every moment of everyday, BUT I do love being a mum. It is the best job I have ever had.

But don't worry I had a shower, shaved, got a hair cut, and when my son was asleep tonight I dyed my hair and waxed my eyebrows. Exhausting but worth it. Hopefully I will notice before I get out of control next time. But if I don't that doesn't really matter either ;-)