There are a many things people don't tell you about being a mum and a million things they tell you that you will never use. But going back to work is something that everyone has an opinion on and some will push in your face if you ask them or if you don't.
The decision to go back to work is a personal choice for every family. This subject in particular is hard one for me. My family is lucky in the fact that I can stay home if I choose and more to the point my husband is the most supportive man who wants what I want. The problem is I think I am leaning towards staying home but find there is pressure from others that maybe I should go back to work.
Previously when I have thought about staying home with my son, I thought that this was the best option and who wouldn't agree. More to the point I didn't think anyone else would care what we were doing as a family. Boy was I wrong. My son is 6 months old and I can't count on my hands how many times I have been asked if I am going back to work. To start off with I didn't mind so much. But now every time someone asks I feel myself tensing just a tad and in my head tackling the person who has asked me this normal, very reasonable question to the ground. It's not the question that is the issue, it is more where this question leads to and then the long winded opinion of the person I am talking to, that makes me start to feel this way.
When ask the question 'are you going back to work?', often my answer is 'I haven't decided, but I think I want to stay home with this little guy. I don't want to miss out on anything in his life, but I haven't decided yet.' I tried to be a little blazay but also indicating that I probably won't be going back. Who would have thought I would get comments like:
- You'll change your mind if you choose to stay home
- It's unhealthy to stay at home with you child, you will loose yourself.
- Won't you get bored if you stay at home?
- Your child will miss contact with other children
Its hard, because not everyone was so opinionated and I feel I took these opinions to heart. I even used our friend google to research the impacts on being a stay at home mum. Which didn't seem to help or hinder. It wasn't until I was able to talk to other mums in a similar situation to myself when I realised. I SHOULDN'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK.
But I am human so I will always care just that little, if I like it or not.
My message for everyone else - Its great to have an opinion. It can be great to share your opinion. BUT know the impacts of what sharing your opinion with someone else means. Even if this opinion has been asked for. Especially us new mums, we're a little more sensitive.
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